MAZEY LIFE

They say nothing is constant in life except change. Well, I just hope that if there should be change in anyone's life it should be positive. A negative course of change would just be disastrous. However, how about a neutral change? Can there be anything as such? a change but neutral, not really tilting, but changing in magnitude. If there were any philosopher who talked extensively about change, I'd really like to poke into their works, and delve more in to this story of change. I really bothers me, most especially when you seem to have just had some change in magnitude, but not in direction.

Life continues to prove impossible by the day, with the many surprises and challenges it throws my way, I guess with the belief that I can treat them aright. Well, life must understand that am weak...and really weak. By the day, I feel empty, like something I really want has been taken away from me, and am let to just drift off towards the Antarctica.

Then the talk about me being...Gay? I continue to ponder... They say am DYKE. Everyone in the LC says so, that its an identity that has glued to my shirts. Fine I just hope its the shirts, before my boyfriend...pardon me, my girlfriend finds out.

School is a mess sometimes. I can't imagine, just like yesterday, I got admitted into school. Now, 'they' say am a graduate, awaiting the "compulsory" one year youth corps service. I see it as a waste of one precious year, which I can use to better myself. What do you think?

Then my love life? YES I know you want to know. Its in shambles. However, don't let my sisters know, because it could be the beginning of something I can't handle, because my girlfriend might just come knocking on my door, demanding an explanation. But when would I grow up, and acknowledge that some things in life follow a predestined course?

My family? I adore them. I love them so much, even though the need to be independent remains top on my agenda, and my father doesn't want to hear any of those... What do I do with so much bothering my family now? You know, sometimes I hate the fact that we are still where we are. But perhaps, everythings are for a reason. I just hope so.

When do I finish my dissertation? I bet you should ask my supervisor. I don't know myself. I just want to pack my bags and be off to some unknown place, where perhaps, life can continue for me, from where it has presently paused.