MY PASSIONS ARE A MARKETPLACE BUT EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD

Yuletide calls for stocktaking, as much as the air is filled with laughter, delicious aroma, buntings and fanfare. So, in-between catching your breathe from a long exhausting year by spending time with family and friends, you can also be caught up with the rigors of re-evaluating life, and charting a course for the new year. Or, not.

It is not unusual to be caught clueless in a new year with a fresh tabula rasa, without a plan of how to create your own stories thereof. I have that experience, and it can leave you running around like a headless chicken, only trying to bide fates to shine good fortune your way. Many course through life with such mantras, seeking serendipity, while some are deliberate about what time and chance they are eager to jump at.

Three years ago, I told myself "I need to travel more in the new year." I said this with so much conviction, that I attracted a lot of travel opportunities to my life, the year after. I am grateful that I can share this experience of being able to be deliberate about a thing or a plan. But you see, I believe we are a sum total of our life's experiences - that makes us whom we are, with a blend of our temperaments, passions and the goodwill of Father Sky, fates or God.

Yet, in the throes of soul-searching and being deliberate for the new year, I am easily left confused because my passions become a rowdy marketplace. My thoughts are amazing. As soon as I began to give second ear to the phrase "Kolo, you're so difficult to understand", the easier it was for me to realize how true this was, for me.

You see, I used to be really intelligent - up until the time I began playing catch up with all the play I thought I didn't have enough of as a child, and the laziness that rules when I am caught at crossroads with so many passions yanking at me for first place. For much of that time, I am left being so critically scared of myself. Of the things I could have done, become or achieved; of the weaknesses and the little failures I let become a better of me; and the shenanigans of life that I have made strange bed fellows with.

In the pursuit of 'happyness', I've come to the realization that tears and fears are hard currencies. But, so are clarity of thought, persistence and aptitude. And as much as I can be my own weatherman, my frailties hold me back still.

I want to pursue happiness, and do this with freedom and all the pleasure that tails along, but not before this cup passes over me - this place where the light doesn't find me, where I'm married to my many passions, and lost on which to pursue headlong as my first love.

Everybody wants to rule the world!

A NOTE FROM JANET

Precisely on my table

She left for me a note

Written in decipherable codes

Of which I thought was a fable

The note had got a ‘Dear Kenneth’

Of which I thought to write was hard

But she concluded and said I was bad

All the night we were at the banquet

She accused me of being a fool

To think she never saw us

As we groaned and cursed

On the balcony at moon’s full

That was how it ended

A story I’ve got left

Of how am now bereft

With a love that can’t be mended.

HABIBI AND A DOZEN SMILES

He peeps from the hole between his seat and the window, smiles at me, and then automatically expects a response. I touch the cape of my hat, smile back and ask his name.

“Habibi.”

Habibi, four (as he said he were), is probably not flying for the first time (if you also factor in the number of times, he’s ran around the neighborhood, mimicking a bird in flight). I rambled around at him about what I was doing when I was four – playing ball, flying kites, 'riding tyres', learning Hausa, counting planes and swans that fly past above. “Your generation is quite blessed”, I murmured to Habibi; and he replies in Hausa.

“inna jin tsoro.”

He’s scared. The plane begins lift off. That's the part you feel your eye rolling, and pressure building in your ears. My friend, who’s buckled besides me, knows that feeling so much. She complains of not bringing her pair of earpiece along.

Habibi closes his eyes and smiles.

As the plane has stabilizes in flight, he opens his eyes and looks out the window. 1, 2, 3…10, 12; Habibi is counting the cars he can see down below. He smiles, and tells me in Hausa; “ga motochi.”  He points at cars he can see from nigh. When asked how many he could count, he smiles and replies:

“one hund-i-red.”

Habibi’s family is headed to Owerri. From appearance, you know they are of North-Eastern descent. I didn’t find time to count how many they were, as my attention was divided between my friend and the book I was attempting to read. I bumped into her, a little before I boarded the plane. She just won’t stop asking what I was going to Owerri to do, and my response of “I’m going to tweet” was not satisfactory.

I kept comparing a four year old me, and Habibi. His meekness spread a smile across my face, and told myself, my generation is blessed too.

Habibi keeps peering through the window, and each time he did, I followed suite, not out of curiosity, but for the fact that each time I have the luxury of flying, I learn again, the concepts of Geography.

An ardent student from primary school, it wasn’t any mistake when my Geography teacher in secondary school said in class, that I was going to study Geography at the university. What transpired between him and I in my fist of anger, is a story for another day.

Today, I’m a trained geographer, no professional certifications, no work experience in the field, but every time, I’m amazed by the depth of learning I get when I go high up in the skies –flying or mountaineering . Today, I was opportuned to peek out just when we were flying above Lokoja. I could see in the background, the slow winding River Niger, it’s ox-bow lakes and the small islands formed here and there within it.

I’m always left amazed by the power of nature every time, whether it’s the desert formations in Niger, Mali, Libya or Tunisia; the River Sasandra or San Pedro in Cote d'Ivoire, the River Niger or the thick forests of central West Africa; I’m more than amazed by the power of nature, the creation of God, and by the level of learning I get when I behold.

Flashes of classroom instruction overcome me, and then I see myself going through my Gho, Cho &; Leong textbook, which formed the foundation upon which all of my understanding of geography is built.

As the cumulus clouds thicken and our view is obstructed, Habibi shuts his window, and returns to life in the plane. My ears are giving way to the pressure in the cabin, and I quickly dive in to my pocket for my earpiece, archiving that experience for another day in a bid to try and enjoy the flight to Owerri.

We got to Owerri in time, and Habibi remained my companion as we approached the arrival lobby. Habibi was dragging his luggage on wheels, and offered to carry my strap-on bag, which weighed almost double his weight. He said it in a way that humored me, and I erupted in laughter. His guardian looked our way, and smiled. Habibi must be the Sanguine of the lot, and his guardian must have thought, “Habibi has met his type.”

Fates had to separate us as he had to wait for the rest of the family to get their luggage, and I had to catch my taxi taking me to Owerri.

I murmured to him a prayer, “God bless thee child”, and he just characteristically smiled on!

ACHIEVING 2010 TODAY

My only surviving grandparent turned seventy one [71] late December 2009. She was full of anticipation for the new year, and I wondered why a septuagenarian would be so apt about 2010. She looks forward to seeing her last daughter tying them nuptials, another year of bliss hopefully, good health and perhaps this time next year, should be boasting of more grandchildren [and who knows, great grand children]. I understand her position towards 2010 from an old African proverb that says "what a child can't see, up on an iroko tree, an elder does sitting". She's seen it all, and not to give preference to the schemings of 2010, would be to fail from the start.

Today, the transfer window officially open in England, and those of you - like me, ardent football freaks would monitor, analyse, "mock-buy", predict and follow the happenings. Like all of you, I expect the right activity for my dear supported club. However, another transfer window opens today. "The Resolutions Transfer Market". With a lot of bad habits, misdemeanors, acts, immorals and shortcomings expected to give way to chastity, discipline, good behavior, "clean bills" and character. I ask how much do we need to buy good over bad? For some, its keeping a clean sheet. For others, its surpassing 2009's goals. In some cases, its just sustainability. In all cases, beating the gun won't be a good way to start a race of three hundreds and sixty five days.

Sometimes, we try, but don't try well enough to achieve the goals we set. Sometimes, we even set goals so we can - like every achiever, talk about goals and ambitions. We never understand the reasons why well enough, nor customize goals to our realities. I for one, fail on this basis. In 2009, three of six books were started; none has reached an advanced stage. Some manuscripts are even long forgotten. For some of the books, there are a lot of plot clashes. For others, its an issue of starting what I can't finish. Emotionally, I have failed to tie myself down to some commitments, responsibilities and demeanor. Yet, 2009 was a success for me. Yet, I crave to be better. To relate well with people, maybe not all people but most people; to set out on goals with precision, and to live a fulfilling life before God and before men.

Today, is my best shot at making 2010 the best of my life. Why should I wait for tomorrow am so uncertain about? Thus, I'd live it, like it was my last. And I expect you to follow suit. Don't be like Osuofia, who tries to calm a crying baby by asking it what it would do tomorrow, if it cried today. If you need to cry, please do cry today, when there are lots of shoulders to provide succor. I will live out 2010 today, stepping on them stones of yester years' experiences, and hope I achieve the goals of 2010, today!

THE SECRET ADMIRER

Indulged by beauty
Polished in the courts of the gods
Guile unmatched, so terrific
Heads unduely turn, adulations abound
But the secret admirer looks on
In the hope that fates swing you his way
As he in long-suffering, yearns for you
And lurks in shells, admiring your beauty
Tarry no more, in returning his love
For dear, as the old moon wanes
So his love lingers

MUCH ADO ABOUT SOMETHING

Done to death by slanderous tongues
Was the hero that here lies dead
In dungeon of their rights
Gives him fame which never dies
Such was the death that died with shame.