Showing posts with label Nigeria. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nigeria. Show all posts

Thursday 27 June 2019

A Beard, An Army Green Jacket and Getting Detained at Busia

I don't know what could ever make me turn down an opportunity to travel. You see, my knack for travel means that I get the sickness bug, if I haven't traveled in 90 days. The thrills help my mind breathe and turn up the embers of that burning desire for life!
Passport is ever ready for that travel
 Two years ago, while returning to Rwanda a second time within four months, I missed my connecting flight because my flight to Nairobi was late. I smiled to myself inside Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, knowing that I could get the chance to explore Nairobi. Sadly, no thanks to terrible customer service by Kenyan Airways and her partner hotel, I lost time between waiting to get to the hotel and even checking in to my room. Well, when I finally got the chance to enter Nairobi with friends, we were only able to get as far as the parliament building, and left in good time, before Nairobi's traffic would swallow us.
Ugali and Chicken is one of my East African immersions. But I traveled with my pepper

I knew then, that I had unfinished business in Kenya - I always knew that I owed life a good chunk of merriment and the creation of memories in East Africa, and nothing will happen in Kenya to even douse it. So, when I returned to Nairobi in late July for a strategy meeting, I knew there was no way it would be all work and no play for Kolo. The winter was receding, but the cold was still there to make me needy. Thankfully, the army green jacket I bought in Copenhagen which has famously joined my travel starter pack was there to shield me from Nairobi chills. The nights were amazing. Eish, Westlands at night is something akin to Rue Princess in Abidjan. What I learned from those Nairobi nights is that Kenyans are way ahead of Nigerians when it comes to craft beer. Well, we have the age long burukutu and ogogoro, goskolo and what have you, but to know that most of the clubs and lounges sold their own craft beer got my jaws dropping like...


 

There is also the matter of maximum land use management with most malls and plazas having underground parking, unlike in Nigeria where half the size of your plot is earmarked for parking.I enjoyed my first silent disco experience in Nairobi too. The team after working our socks off, decided to celebrate our success, and silent disco was the perfect answer for me. I've always been a lover of mighty headphones, and it felt awesome around my ears.
My silent disco experience was lovely
A day before my flight, I received an notification. I was summoned to represent a superior, at the Commonwealth Youth Ministers' Meeting holding in Kampala, Uganda. The ajala/sojourner in me was as usual, prepared and ready to go. Apart from a few delays to confirm immigration requirements and my supporting documents, I managed to beat the Nairobi traffic to catch my bus, even though my luggage had to meet me up in Kampala on another bus. The commute helped me to see the geographical beauty of Kenya and mostly, the great rift valley which I had read so much about in school.

So, I packed my bag, and headed to town to meet a team I will soon be working with in Calabar, and to taste my first masala chai. Before I was done, it was time to beat Nairobi's evening rush hour and catch up with my bus to Busia. But, my luggage was still atleast 15 kilometres away. So, I agreed with my host, to just meet me up at the park. On getting to the park, my bus had already left the park, but thankfully was caught in traffic. Issue was, my luggage had not arrived the park, so I left a message with the Station Manager, who agreed to put my luggage on the next bus. Goodnews was, I had gone out with my travel passport in the morning.

I caught up with the bus, and was promptly ushered to my "VIP" seat, while I kept conversing with my host, to reconcile details regards my luggage, as well as snapshots of my Yellow Fever card that was in my bag. However, it was the events at the border post at Busia, that caused a few shivers down my spine, and causing me to play scenes in my head, while sat in an office, left alone for a while before officers came in to interrogate me.

You know how Nigerians are often stereotyped in the West? Well, same thing happened to me at the airport in Dubai and Nairobi; and it was what was playing out at Busia. Typically, the question in their heads, is in this line... "what is a bearded Nigerian donning an army green raincoat doing, crossing Kenya in to Uganda by road?" I was asked this kind of question by Ouatarra's rebels at Gbeunta in 2010, detained for hours and missing my truck ride to Danane. This time though, the bus driver was generous enough to wait for me. The interrogators were a man and a woman. The woman tried to look terse and tough, and all I continually kept telling myself, was to tay relaxed, smile and be as soft spoken as possible.

The lady asked, "where is the gun you are carrying?"

I looked at her playing surprised, and replied, "what gun?"

Army green jacket in use in Poland this time
The man banged the table, "young man, are we here to play? Where is the gun in your possession? The scanner detected a gun on you"

I sat up, moving my hands from the folded position on my chest, to placing them on the table, akin to surrendering myself to a body search. Then I looked at the man, and responded, "Sir, I have never owned a gun in my life. I am on a trip to Rwanda to attend the Commonwealth Youth Ministers' Meeting. My letter of invitation and reservations are on my phone in my pocket, and your colleague can get it out of my pocket if she wants."

He looked me straight in the eyes, and replied, "you can bring it out yourself."

So, I slowly put one hand in, and brought out my phone. Unlocked it, scrolled to the downloaded letters, and showed him.

"These signatures can easily be photoshopped, young man, I can't believe you", he said.

I quickly went back to my email, and showed him correspondence with the rep from the commonwealth office, who had sent my invitation letter. Only at that point, did he ease up.

Then, he went on to ask how I was going back to Nigeria. He wasn't concerned if I was going elsewhere from Kampala. For him, it was about returning to Nigeria for me. So, I listed out my itinerary, including the fact that I would be returning to Busia to exit his country before heading back to Nigeria.

All these happened so quickly, that within half an hour, it was all done, and I was allowed to go get my passport stamped. It was at that point that I realised their possible reason for detaining me. My passports (I always travel with my active and expired passports in one bind) were plastered with stamps from my many travels. Was that what triggered them? I know Uganda has had its fair share of conflict, and the proliferation of small arms, thanks to its foreign policy and proximity to volatile States.

Kenyan highlands where sugar cane thrives so much on
As I sat through the remaining half of my ride to Jinja and then Kampala, my mind stayed fixated on the agricultural potential of Uganda, and the banana plantations brought back scenes from "The Gods Must Be Crazy", as I smiled sheepishly to myself, entering Kampala.

Tuesday 30 May 2017

SABOTEURS WHO CROSSED

Come, let's take a solemn walk
Down the boulevards of purgatory
Men linger, half a century of pain
Those who crossed at no will of theirs

Enemy of the state, saboteur of the rebel
Straffed by dawn, pillaged at dusk
Wells that shone amongst stars
Lost, even in purgatory

Friday 26 February 2016

NECTAR

Nectar, I'll be your bee.
Humming all over you on a knee
Let the flower open up, deep
Till you let me suckle with glee

Saturday 30 January 2016

I'M HOLDING UP FOR LOVE

Love, where's your fire?
I've been sat here smoking away
With thorns, fronds and tulips
Making signals, for my need is dire
Still, there's no sign of a flame

Imposters have walked this way
Dripping with offerings, irresistible
Should I hold out for you?
That inferno you talked about,
When does the panorama light up?

That inferno that burns to the bones,
Come wrought me thorough
Rough edges to gloss, mend my tears
Throw me a lifeline, breathe in me
I'll hold my heart up to you

Monday 28 September 2015

Abuja (12)

Abuja, of a flood's nightly welcome
Fires up fantasies and washes away sorrows
Though cries of men and of babies spring forth thence

Friday 3 July 2015

SULE (2)

You see, I have the most amazing gateman, Sule. He's quite good at what he says. He sweeps the compound and leaves the gathered rubbish for the wind to scatter, so he can sweep them again the next morning. He leaves the water pump on, so that when the tanks are filled, the interlocked tiles of a garden we have gets watered. Oh, and he doesn't open the gate simply because you honk your horn or tap at the gigantic gate, no. You've got to call him up or even ping him as I recently discovered.
So, recently, I was frying tomato for sauce. I was having some hallowed guest over. Everything else was set except the sauce, and this guest will be arriving in 30 minutes. In fact, I'd been told they were on their way. While stir-frying the tomato paste and adding condiments and extra spices, I noticed I had ran out of seasoning. The Royco and Maggi combination was finished. So, I pinged Sule.
Me: Ping! Ping!!
Sule: Oga, yaya dai? Inzo ne? (Oga, I should come?)
Me: E, ka zo ka taya ni da wani abu (yeah, come and help me with something)
Sule struts at will, and knocks on my door. I quickly open up, and beg him to help me get a pack of Royco from the container shop down hill. I lay emphasis on 'quick please', handing him N500 note.
That was when my woes began. A supposed 5 minutes walk down and back up the small hill, became a 45 minutes wait for Sule. I'd gone ahead to fry and even simmer the sauce without seasoning. Then a knock on my door.
Sule: Oga, gashi an samo da kyar. Shago uku na zagaya kafin aka samu (Oga, finally. I had to check at three shops)
Then he hands me a big sized bottle of Hypo and N250 change...

Sunday 28 June 2015

Sule (1)

I uncharacteristically woke late today. This means I missed church. So, I set about cleaning the house, doing the dishes, preparing lunch and if there's extra strength, do some laundry. It was while I was doing the dishes that I heard it. Loud sobs. Really serious crying. It was my delectable neighbor. I don't even know her name (that is reserved for some evening of better acquaintance).but she was sobbing loudly. I paused and worry ran through my spine.
I dropped the plate I was washing, cleansed my hands and (like all nice neighbors will) dashed for her door. I tapped gently a couple of times, and the sob stopped.
"Who's there? Sule (thinking it was the gateman)"
"It's m...me...e. It's Ken" I managed to say, in a troubled (had to make her realise her crying bothered me) way.
After a run of tap and a couple of steps, she turned the keys and flushed the porch with her resplendence (with red eyes).
"Madam (until I get her name), I heard you sob and I REALLY want to know why you're crying" I said.
"Nothing, I'm fine" she replied.
"I'm not sure, because your sobs were loud enough for anyone to know you're not fine", I interjected.
Then she opened up... "Can you imagine? I'm watching the third of Cinderella trilogy, but it's not Cinderella, it's a boy named Quagliarella. It's not the glass stiletto as we've known it, but a pair of Levi jeans. The banquet with the prince is about to start, but Quagliarella can't find that magical pair of Levi jeans."
I sighed!
She said she had earlier watched the latest in the Shrek series, and Fiona was gone. Instead, there was a beardy dude of lithe frame called Frodo. She couldn't understand what was going on with movies anymore, and let out a shriek of a sob.
That was when I woke up, and heard the wail. Checked the time... 11:23am. I got off my bed, and dashed for the door. I have to find out why my neighbor is crying this morning.

Tuesday 5 May 2015

IS HE A MIRACLE WORKING MAN?


Hot on the heels of the 2015 general elections are a string of lobbying, real politicking and power tussles leading to May 29th, when the elected government is sworn in to power. Everyone is guessing what the cabinet will look like, and with a recent mention of the APC changing its manifesto, the debate is raging on, on why that happened, and whether the party will rescind on her pre-election promises. Flashback to pre-election days in February and March 2015, and vote canvassing were done via the media - conventional and new - in the form of hate speech, defamation of character, in documentaries, advertorials, townhall meetings and civic debates before the elections. While manifestos were thoroughly analyzed, concerns over issues like corruption, unemployment, maternal and child healthcare, domestic violence, security, foreign exchange, economy, foreign policy, inflation, rule of law and power were hugely on the front burner before the elections and seem to remain, as Nigerians continue to guess, how the incoming government will deal with Nigeria's plethora of problems.



Analysts say if the incoming government can do away with corruption and make power available to Nigerians, a lot of the problems currently plaguing the largest massing of black people on earth will begin to tow the path to self sufficiency and development. And recently, at a gas sector roundtable, the issue of gas to power and gas to transport were reiterated as means to alleviate a lot of the problems plaguing Africa's largest economy. However, while the problem is said to be with the transmission of power rather than generation and distribution which have been duly privatized between preceding governments, it is not clear if the Transmission Company of Nigeria (TCN) will be able to improve transmission capacity of the current grid, or a miracle is expected of Muhammadu Buhari in anycase. Prior to the elections, the Sell Your Vote webapp - j.mp/Sell2015, a scenario game asking Nigerians if they will compromise their votes by taking money from politicians, got some feedback which showed that Nigerians were no longer willing to take peanuts from politicians for shoddy showing while in office.







And believe it or not, Nigerians who have already set up the "Office of the Citizen" of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, will seek to ensure accountability and transparency in the delivery of dividends of democracy, which like in 1959 till today, revolve around clean water, good roads, functional hospitals, free education, jobs and constant supply of power. Whether President-elect, Muhammadu Buhari is the Miracle Man from Daura, is something Nigerians will realise after May 29.

Saturday 21 March 2015

THE DUST IN THE DARKNESS



It has been 146 days since the Majlis sent word around about the coming of the darkness. The note had come in scribbled Arabic; passed around from one compound, to hamlet. The scribe seems hurried to jot his message. And then it came upon us. The dust in the darkness.
That is what we have come to call them, for that is how they come upon one village after another after another. They raise a mighty black flag and leave behind, raging fire, wanton destruction, the smells of death in the air, and silence in the hearts of those who live till dawn.
And that is what they have veiled my heart with – silence. For when Inna calls out, silence answers. When the government people come to fight with those camera totting people for verified numbers, though missing, silence answers.
I am Rifkatu, I’m 15 years old, and a Christian. Better put, an arniya, kafiruna as they have chosen to call us here – pagans, infidels. Maybe they are right, for in despairing silence of 146 days; of whispers in prayer, my God turned a deaf ear. Maybe not. He did answer Israel’s prayer in Masar. And Ayuba? Wasn’t he tried, and God commanded that his soul be spared? And Idris? Wasn’t he taken by God? The only man never to see death? Oh, yeah, and Iliya who was ferried by chariots in to heaven, after he escaped death
Well, Idris, my Sunday School teacher saw death. We all cried the day he was carried away, and then more wails when we finally found his headless body, decaying in the searing heat of the Malawa Mountains.
Maybe like Ayuba, this is my trial. Dragged all the way to that white pickup and loaded like a goat. I could never forget the color of that pickup. It shone in the cold night. The moon reflected off it and off the cold darkness that peered upon my soul in that turban. He had the height of my big brother, Habila. But he looked like he hadn’t eaten in a long while. He waived his gun at will, and sent fear down the spines of every girl couched in the pickup.

Monday 16 March 2015

WILL #GEJ WIN IT?


The political sphere in Nigeria remains charged, leading up to apparently, the most expensive heated elections in the history of the nation. Most analysts would say prior to the postponement of February 14, the All Peoples' Congress was charging to the finish line like Usain Bolt. But the shift in the checkered line, has helped the Peoples' Democratic Party, regain some stamina, and giving a push to the line.

To this end, a group of young party loyalists, aligned to the incumbent, President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, a.k.a. #GEJ decided to put together an event, to tell party stalwarts why GEJ wins it. According to them, the President's achievements are under reported, so Nigerians don't know on what premise they are lobbied to return #GEJ for a second term by constitutional right

So, even though the organizers screamed and shouted that the event was a formal one, and there shouldn’t be jeans and sneakers, trust Nigerians now… Anyways, I called up a darling friend, and she was my date for the evening. They were economical with time, as they indeed said the event will go live by 6pm, and at around 6pm, they were set. See ehn, I was VERY impressed by the set up. From the stage, to the seating, to managing the movement of cameramen, to the speakers, sound, montage… See, they bettered the PlayForum guys a bit. I can beat my chest anywhere and say Naija Boyz can “did it”. At the heart of the technical setup was the “kekere ekun”, Segun Awosanya a.k.a. Segalink. Even though he had a resplendent seat in front, and he was dapper as always, he was ducking from the view of the cameras, darting across the entire space, and ensuring the whole thing thick.
In my mind of minds, I saw the name of the convener as “Karo”, and thought of only one twitter handle I know with that name - @karo_orovboni, and I went burst with it, as the convener delivered his welcome address. But indeed, it was @karoagono. Thankfully, I was promptly corrected, and the barrage of questions in my mentions stopped.


Mr. Agono insisted in his welcome speech, that you may differ in ideas with him (irrespective of what part of the country you live in), yet to him, you remain brothers and sisters I wonder if this holds sway across board though


And in the next 5 minutes, Karo adulated GEK in bard-like rendition, citing why to him already, “GEJ wins it”. Above all, he reiterated his angst on being told by friends in the opposition, that he had indeed taken money, to give his support to #GEJ (Countfreemont’s tweet). Again, he said you Yes, you have told him that if you support the opposition, you’re intelligent and cool, but if you support the government, you are intellectually deficient.

Sen. Anyim Pius Anyim then proceeded with the first keynote, and dropped a couple of subs for the 1st family, the opposition candidate – Gen. Muhammadu Buhari and a host of others. His first sub though, was for Mama Peshe. Because only a few days back in Akwa Ibom and then in Edo, she said it was constitutionally a right for her husband to get 8 years in office. Oga Anyim said instead, that #GEJ was not even concerned about being reelected… Itumo 



Again, he delivered a master of subs, when he proclaimed that #GEJ’s is the first administration where power is not concentrated at the centre, in reference to statements by one agile retiree, that there are indeed 5 Presidents ruling the country (sic). According to Senator Anyim, “Mr. President has no need to keep all the power, he’ll rather strengthen the relevant institutions”. He also said that #GEJ’s administration has guaranteed the stability of the national legislature, and it is not as volatile. Well, maybe Senator Anyim was asleep when recently, there was rancor at the national assembly


He also went on about the rebasing of the economy, and said it wasn’t really for bragado projecting Nigeria as the largest economy on the continent, but for it to capture the relevant sectors of the economy which were hitherto neglected, for the sake of national economic planning for the future. Again, he delivered a sub, this time to the party itself, when he said, “We are not working for reelection, but for the next generation”.


After his speech, an army of young, intelligent and daft Nigerians took to the podium, to espouse the achievements of this administration, from corruption *swallows flagyl for my running stomach* to SURE-P, 10 million increase in school enrolments even though UNICEF says Nigeria has about 11 million out of school children and even the small matter of the number of Nigerians – 44 million plus – now using the internet thanks to this administration. 


















Anyways, I was dazzled most by the speech of Toyosi Akerele (@toyosirise), and no wonder everyone else was – she’s a Jossite, like Mike Omeri and Labaran Maku *covers face* and myself. She touched me, when she hammered on the truth, that even though young Nigerians are now taking the handouts because if we don’t, the old generation will still pocket it, or dash oyinbo PR firms, we can now negotiate on our terms, because we are trailblazing across the globe, making Nigeria proud, even more than the government is (yet another sub).











With all the adulation coming in, Eghes Eyienyien gave a strong speech, thrumping up the achievements of #GEJ, but ended it all with a massive sub:

The evening petered in to one of adulation and reiteration of the same facts and figures of achievements we have seen on twitter, facebook, on television and even on newspapers. And then, the lie called Bala Mohammed happened. He claimed that there have been massive road expansions in his administration, with plans to develop new districts in the FCT, via public-private partnerships. 


Oga, didn’t mention that his administration like those before him, have neglected the development of Idu/Karimo Industrial District, which will have been the nerve center for small businesses and industries living in the FCT. For him, developing primed areas in “our own Dubai”, were key projects for his administration. And I dare to add, even the illegal conversion of about 20ha of designated green areas in Asokoro to residential quarters, without adhering to requirements of the Abuja master plan, is a part of it. Oga Minister also mentioned that they were working birthing a tax body for the FCT, to generate N300bn in revenue for the Territory, so that it can exempt itself from the national budget and be self-sufficient.


Wont for time, the compere took a couple of questions from online viewers and from the audience, with most of them focusing on the issue of power. Venerable Professor Chidenu Nebo reiterated that the power sector doesn’t work akin to “plug n’ play”. It takes time to run feasibility and evaluation studies, make procurements, import and install, but promised that power will be a demon of the past soon, especially if #GEJ is reelected. Oh, and he said, “#GEJ has overworked and over performed, but under appreciated”. 


 As the evening grew older, the speakers and the audience had the look on their faces that said one thing – “#GEJ will win it”. 



The event came to a prompt conclusion with the national pledge: I pledge to Nigeria my country, to be faith, loyal and HONEST; to serve Nigeria with ALL my HEART, to DEFEND her UNITY and uphold her HONOR and GLORY; so help me God.