Oh, Dear Baro

Oh, dear Baro 

Petty gamble o'er the matter 

Emptying of thy belly 

Gives them fame, sheared 

Mosquitoes awoken of staccatos

Mosquitoes in swarms, fishes in droves

Aboki And The Rest Of Them All

As usual, I woke up one other morning, and picked up my career defining noise-making habit on twitter from where it left me off, when I sprawled on my bed and dozed off the night before. Not that I have a set schedule or agenda, but noise naturally comes to me, so I'm able to easily make them. And today, it was about derogatory words used on each other by Nigerians. Of course, the #Haiku, #OOMF and #Soliloquy hashtags will come along, sprinkled on the timeline before the end of the day, usually away from dedicated time for #EventWorthAttending, and other business-based tweets. It happened that I stumbled the ability to educate, entice, stimulate, inform and sensitize those who have given me the honor of a follow, of diverse issues, brands, products and what-have-you.

This country ehn? It is big. We are so big that my native Niger has 300 documented tribes, yet even most Nigerlites can only identify as few as can be counted on one finger. And so, when I hear that Nigeria comprises 350 tribes, I give off a sarcastic chuckle, as I known that the oyibo who did the counting, must have evaded 'mosquito-infested areas, and promptly rounded up the numbers.

Well, #ThatsNoneOfMyBusiness. The idea today, was to make noise to a level that I could start engaging people in long exciting conversations, and it wasn't long until my timeline went burst in flames. An added humor of threatening to block everyone who used the words on me, promptly brought succor to the recalcitrant whom every now and then, seek satisfaction in seeing me hurt like some 'overlords' whom rather than drinking ice-cold water, will rather block or engage in twitfights. That was how one handle died a natural death. Well, I mean, after dissing Yoruba boys (and most of what the handle said, were usually true). Anyways, RIP @Songhainese. Not the 'Kendra' behind the handle oh, but the handle.

So, the aftermath of it all was that I learned -- yet again, of more derogatory words used on Nigerians by Nigerians, and the apparent disunity, reference to Nigeria's 'major' tribe brings. I blame whoever categorized Nigeria across tribal lines, with Yoruba, Hausa and Igbo as major. Anyways, by the time it was 11am, aguru/ebi/yunwa dawned, and I trudged off my bed in search of breakfast. Thank God I found bananas in my neighbor's fridge, for the rest now, is history.